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A Single Girl's Quest to Becoming a Mom, Finding Love, and Everything In Between…

Not So Normal After All…


The_Question_MarkI don’t think I will ever understand men.  After my promising conversation with Mr. Texas, he fizzled away quicker than a 4th of July sparkler.  We had the initial 2 hour phone conversation where he thanked me for being normal and said he looked forward to speaking to me again.  The next day we exchanged a couple of text messages where we both told each other we were looking forward to getting to know each other.  And then a whole week passed and I heard nothing from him.  So I decided to give him a call.  He answered the phone and said he was about to head off to the gym but he could chat for a bit.  That chat turned into another 2 hour phone call.  And that was the last I heard from Mr. Texas…

I just don’t understand how he seemed interested in getting to know one another, but he just never followed through.  I’m not sure if he was waiting for me to continue calling him or he just wasn’t interested.  I’m going with the latter; which is fine but I just don’t understand why he just wouldn’t say so.  It makes no sense to me to spend all that time talking to someone if you’re just not interested.  So Mr. Texas has officially been placed in the category with the rest of the weird, “not so normal” men…

I often wonder should I even be trying to date right now.  Should I just concentrate on finding the perfect sperm donor and preparing for insemination?  Maybe the timing just isn’t right…  Because honestly, even if I met a great guy, I’m not sure I would put my plans for IUI on hold.  There’s no guarantee that we would work out and I would have wasted more time on my fertility clock.  I’m hoping that Mr. Right would just understand my plans and be supportive.  And if he isn’t, then maybe he’s not the right guy for me.  But I’m realistic and know that would be asking for a whole lot from another person and understand that most people could not and would not want to deal with that.

I really want to be in an honest, loving and committed relationship but I can no longer sacrifice my fertility to find that.  So what’s a girl to do?  Do I continue to search on Match for my perfect mate or just focus on scrolling through the sperm donor website until I find the perfect swimmers?  I don’t know the answer to that.  I do know that my favorite show is about to start, so I will be shutting down the computer and not searching on any website.  I will be watching Scandal to see what happens between Olivia and Fitz!


4 thoughts on “Not So Normal After All…

  1. I am completely in the same boat and I have a date this weekend….but I am so not into dating right now during this process and unless this amazing guy were to say, “Hey wanna make a baby on the second date?” I would not change my plan for IUI. Also…my best guy friend met his wife when her IUI baby with a donor was 3 months old. That story alone gives me hope. 🙂 But right now….a baby is more important and a man can wait. Hang in there 🙂

    • Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂 I think about the movie The Backup Plan and wonder if that’s really possible. But when I hear real life stories like your friend’s it give me hope. Good luck on your journey to mommyhood and I hope your date goes well. 🙂

  2. Finding Mr. Right is tough, but dodging Mr. Wrong is an equally and if not more important skill. You’re fabulous and don’t ever doubt it!

    Another story to add is that of my friend’s OB/GYN. An also fabulous and successful gal met her Mr. ight the week prior to her IUI. They are now happily married with three kiddos, the oldest being the result of that IUI. Going down this oath doesn’t mean we’re not capable of finding love, it just means we stopped waiting to be chosen and instead choose to pusue the life and dreams we have!

    • Well that certainly is encouraging!! And I love what you said: we stopped waiting to be chosen… Indeed we are playing an active role in fulfilling our dreams!!

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