Just One Kiss (Out of the Mouth of Babes)

March 11, 2013 by Designer2Diaper 4 Comments

For the past 5 days I’ve been using an ovulation prediction kit to see if I could tell when I’m ovulating.  I need to practice this “skill” so when I’m ready to do the insemination, I will know how to predict my ovulation and be able to perfectly time the insemination.  I even bought a fancy digital reader because surely that will help me interpret the results better than the cheaper non-digital reader…  Each morning I peed on the stick as instructed, and after 3 minutes the results were in with a big fat NO!  Yesterday, I was surprised with a new message: a flashing “error” sign.  Obviously this is going to take some practice…

This new routine made me think of a funny conversation I had with my nephew.  Last month, I took my niece, who is 8, and my nephew, who is 5, shopping at Target.  We were walking around the store looking at things and acting silly as we usually do.  We picked up a few outfits for them and then some miscellaneous items.  We actually spent a lot of time looking at the flavors for the sodastream machine (their dad, who is my brother, bought one for Christmas, and they’ve been fascinated with it ever since).

As we are walking to the cash register, out of the blue my nephew asked me: “Do you want to have kids?”  (I didn’t think much of this because for the past couple of years both my niece and nephew have often asked me about why I don’t have kids yet or whether I’m going to give them some cousins to play with).  I said sure, of course I do.  He then said: “Well, just find a husband and tell him to kiss you.”  And before I could respond he said: ” How many kids do you want?”  I told him I would love to have two children.  He said: “Oh ok, well just tell him to kiss you twice.”  After that comment, all I could do was laugh and say oh, okay…  I really wanted to say, I wish it were that easy buddy.

Imagine, having just one simple kiss and you’re pregnant.  This would be terrible for most people – you’d have to abstain from kissing until you were ready to have a baby.  But in my situation, how awesome would that be right now if I could just kiss one guy.  I wouldn’t have to worry about ovulation prediction kits, blood work or sonograms.  I wouldn’t have to worry about going on to a donor sperm website and fishing through the donors to try to pick my baby daddy.  Just one kiss and it would be done.

As a child, I used to believe in fairy tales.  Cinderella and Snow White both found their Prince Charming.  So where is mine?  I’m even willing to find that frog that’s going to turn into my prince as soon as I kiss him (hey, I can kill two birds with one stone, turn the frog into a prince and get knocked up at the same time). 

As an adult, I know that fairy tales are things that we tell children so they’re not so afraid of the big adult world.  But it sure would be nice if they actually came true.  Until then, it’s back to reading donor profiles and learning how to use this ovulation prediction kit…